Oil and water

If you know me at all, you know I'm not shy about my ever struggling relationship with Charlotte. So the other day when Luis was telling me yet again about how perfect she was for him, I rolled my eyes. And he laughingly replied, "You two are oil and water". And right then, there was a air lifted from the room. It isn't just me. He sees it too, he feels it too.

I felt bad, really I did, for all of about 3 months. But I don't feel bad and I shouldn't. She sure doesn't feel bad, trust me! Nearly everything she does frustrates me. I don't understand her at all. I don't connect to her the way I do to Nico. I can't slow her breathing with mine, I can't sooth her to sleep and I can't ever seem to make her happy. I am not the ying to her yang. The icing to her cake. I am the rain to her parade, seriously.

I saw this posted in one of my groups and it couldn't be more true.

I've completely come to accept that Charlotte and I are different. We may never be the same, we may be at odds forever, we may never be friends. Believe it or not, this was the best thing I ever did. I removed all the pressure from our relationship. I'm not expecting her to be anything. I've accepted her already, at 15 months old, to be whoever she is. If we are friends of the best kind I will be overjoyed. But she wasn't given to me to be her friend.

She was given to me to shape her soul. To be her biggest supporter, her cheerleader, her compass when she is lost, her shoulder to cry on, her confident. To be ears to listen when there is no good words to speak. To tell her to try again and never give up. And that sometimes she's fought too hard and it's okay to throw in the towel. To encourage her when she has lost her hope and light her path when she's wandering. To listen to her dreams and believe in them. To love who she loves. To be proud of her for simply being who she is. Ultimately, she is mine so I can show her who god is. 

You see I've learned this thing about oil and water from my relationship with my own mother. If you try to mix it you stir it up, leaving it all confused. Leave it sit and it settles right where it belongs, separate but touching. Close and comfortable but not lost. But if you wait, until you´re ready to use it, oil and water make the best combination. Ive learned about this from my relationship with my own mother.  As much as my mother would love for me to be like her, she let me be me. Even when it was hard, like right now.

So if Charlotte and I are oil and water, it's not so bad. My mom happens to be my best friend, it took 21 years but it happened. Even if we will never share the view we are happy to hear about it.

-Peace and Grace