Finding Grace: December 2013

December 28, 2013

Roll With The Punches

All in all, things haven’t gone as planned, to put it painlessly. Truth is, I’m actually okay with it. I’m okay with the knowing I tried, I gave it my best shot. Truth is, life is full of experiences just begging to teach us something worth knowing. If we never give life a chance it can’t teach we will miss out on these lessons. These 3 months have been the most challenging in our relationship, our finances, and our family. These 3 months have also afforded me some worthwhile lessons I might have never known otherwise. Here are a few:

1: We actually really like living on 1 room. I know this sounds crazy and I would have agreed had you said this only months ago. This coming from the women who was adamant I would never co-sleep. But truth is, is nice. It's not something that we will have forever, small people in our bed. I don't mind savoring every moment of it.

2: Charlotte loves fruit. This isn't all that exciting except she loves fruit I cant pronounce the names of, much less would have ever brought in the U.S.. I'm fairly certain since moving here she has survived on breast milk and fruit.

3: Being broke sucks. Sorry I'm not sorry, it really does. Everything takes sacrifices and sometimes life happens, but this is not going to be part of the plan ever again. I refuse to settle for thinking I would ever have to live that way.

4: God still rocks in Spanish. I'm a church snob, really I am. I find something wrong with every doctrine, every building, every preacher, every everything. But not having a church to go to made me wish I had dragged myself out of bed many more Sundays while I had the chance. We did go to a Spanish speaking church and although I couldn't understand any of the message (yes of course I still found at least 10 things still wrong with the Church), I was able to sing along to all of the song by recognizing the music.

5: I really am super mom. Well, you know, not really but it sure feels like it. Since we have come here I have had no help (other than Luis) with the kids. Charlotte still doesn't sleep, we live in one room (as mentioned above), there are no parks, no Chuck-E-Cheese, no pools, no friends. Nada. I've had to care for, cook for, entertain, everything.

6: I'm tougher than I thought. We've battled health sickness, home sickness, food sickness, lack of sleep I'm going to lose my mind sickness and fatigue almost to the point of exhaustion. I survived.

So for now, we roll with the punches, wait for our next step and try really hard to enjoy the ride!

-Peace and Grace

December 27, 2013

Worth The Drowning

Ever have a day where your whole world feels like its crashing down?

Water is rising up all around you, your reaching for something to hold onto, something to save you.

But you are just reaching, nothing is there.

There is an overwhelming feeling of doom, of loss, or regret…whatever it is that got you there.

You think you won’t make it, you are holding on with your very last hope.

You breathe in, possibly the one that will be your last and it returns a shout from your heart that cries, ‘I give up’.

And then out of nowhere, the water begins to shrink back, all your emotions sailing away with it.

Your feet finally touch bottom and you take a deep breath.

A breath of relief, to confirm it’s all over.

You look around with new light.

The terrain that seemed too difficult to travel, appears much smoother.

The path is much less dark than you remember.

You have a new confidence, a new hope, possibly determination.

Before you have time to realize all of this your feet are already moving, your treading through the muck of what was and quickly you arrive at the peak.

A feeling of success washing over you in the same way the water did.

You look below at the place where you once stood.

As badly as you wish never to go there again, you know, deep inside, if not for the valley you would never enjoy the peak.

You smile a little and nod your head to the valley, as if to say, thank you for the lesson.

You gather yourself, your move on, as if it never were.

But now, you carry with you a new peace, a peace that was worth the drowning.

-Peace and Grace

December 18, 2013

Happy Wednesday

There is only news, there is nothing called good or bad news,

it becomes one only in the way you take it.
-Kung-Fu Panda

With that being said, things didn't go as planned, not yet at least. Decisions have to be made about what happens next. Thankfully, all of our immediate needs are met.

In life, everything involves risks. If you not willing to take them you will never experience failures. That's usually a good thing. But then again, you will never experience successes either. That's always a good thing.

So today was a day of news, good or bad, I'm not sure yet. I can't lie and say we aren't concerned but I'd be lying to say we are worried. Life has been a roller costar for 3 years, guess we shouldn't be surprised it hasn't ended yet.

I've learned life has a way of giving you something you didn't ask for, didn't think you wanted or needed and it ends up being far better than anything you planned. For this, I am grateful for the many doors god always has open to us.

I enjoyed another long day with my beautiful children. We painted, played soccer and went to the beach. As I sit here on the hammock swaying in the wind, listening to the trees rattle and the ocean waves I can honestly say, there isn't a place in the world I would rather be.

Happy Wednesday and 2 months to Colombia!