Either I have joined far too many mom type groups on Social Media or the surge of breastfeeding posts have swarmed at once. Regardless, there is this idea in the pro-breast feeding community that we need to "normalize" breast feeding. It's this idea that as more people see mothers nursing their babies, the less uncomfortable society will be with seeing mothers nursing their babies. The idea it's great. The approach, well it sucks. Of course, this is only one girls opinion.
The thing that I don't understand is why do people think they're going to normalize breastfeeding by doing anything other than being normal about breastfeeding? People are uncomfortable by anything that is unusual to them. So please explain to me how posting a bunch of nursing pictures, over-the-top e-cards, boobie beanies and encouraging women to nurse uncovered is going to make people more comfortable with breastfeeding?
This is your P.S.A: The only way, and I repeat, the only way, to normalize breast feeding is to be normal about breastfeeding!
I've been nursing one of my two children for just over 2 years. I have nursed in 2 countries and 6 states. Numerous churches, beaches, malls, restaurants and parks. Countess government offices, doctors offices and whatever else office. At airports and on airplanes. Professional sporting events. Every amusement park in Florida. Multiple family gatherings. And most recently, my favorite, while climbing a mountain.
Do you know not one single time has anyone ever told me I 'should' or 'need' to cover up or go somewhere else. Am I immune to these remarks? Do people somehow forget they are offended by breastfeeding when they see me doing it? I seriously doubt it. Obviously the sheer act of nursing isn't as offensive as people claim. Maybe it is all in the approach. Maybe it is in a defensive attitude. Maybe it is the own uncomfortable attitude of the person nursing.
I recently read an article that a mother was told she could not nurse her baby in Victoria Secret after shopping there. The women asked the sales lady and she told her, "...I don't think you can do that here." My first question is, why did she ask? And second, why did she listen? Third, why post an article about it? NO one cares. Nurse your baby when and where you feel comfortable, dammit.
Maybe I'm being clear, maybe not. The point I'm trying to make is that we, breastfeeding mothers, need to be normal about what we are doing because it is normal. Stop shoving it down peoples throats (unless it's a boob and it's your baby), stop making a big deal about it, stop acting like you're doing something great thing.
STOP. STOP. STOP.
And do this, please. Nurse your baby when, where and how you feel comfortable. Don't ask or apologize to anyone. And if someone has something to say just smile, keep nursing and say this.......
Did you catch that? Say this......
Nothing.
Say nothing. You don't owe anybody anything. Do what your doing. Be normal.
Oh and mommas if you want to cover, go in another room, your car or the bathroom because that is where you feel comfortable, do it. Being a rock star breast feeder doesn't even mean you have to feel comfortable lifting your shirt in public without a cover just to join the breast feeding bandwagon.
And a friendly reminder, be kind to everyone. Being a rock star breast feeder doesn't even mean you are using your breasts. So think twice before you judge that mom with a bottle in her hands. Maybe she's working double time pumping or using donor milk or supplementing.
-Peace and Grace
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