Home is where..

 Home is where the heart is.

 

We all know the saying. It makes sense, it really does. Right? Well it does until your heart isn't where your home is. When your head is elsewhere also it makes for an even more difficult situation. I've been struggling since we arrive in Colombia with just about everything. Nothing is going to plan and everything seems 10 times harder than I thought it was going to be.

I should know this is the way it is already. The last 4 years of my life have been anything but easy. And I've said it a million times and I'll say it again, I wouldn't trade my experiences for easy. But man, easy sounds really nice about now.

So when my brother happily offered me the opportunity go back to the US to work for him, make some fast cash and get out of here for a bit I almost jumped on a plane. At first it seemed like a great idea, for everyone. We could certainly use the money, our business is in a stand still and I haven't slept in peace in weeks. Then came details called Nicolas and Charlotte. And 'details' make things a lot harder. Details said this isn't going to work.

Maybe it was details or maybe it was just life once again telling me to wait it out, to trust the process. I've learned I can't make things happen that aren't right, no matter how bad I want something. Sometimes I have to remember this. Today Luis put it simply, stop living anywhere but here. He is right. Home is where the heart is but my heart hasn't been here. Maybe it doesn't seem real, maybe it's the adjustment, maybe it's fear, maybe it's sadness. Maybe it's the reality I had NO idea what I was really getting myself into.

So tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I've been blessed beyond belief. I'm going to put my heart out there, embrace the adventure and believe it is good. One day at a time.

 

2014 be gentle.

-Peace and Grace