Doing my best.

I have always believed I should give my best no matter what the circumstance. I believe that anything worth doing is worth doing well. When I was a kid I always wanted to be the best at soccer, in college I never wanted to get a bad grade or skip class, at work I always wanted to move up and learn everything possible. Being a mother should not have been any different. But for a long time, it was. I just wanted to scrape by. I couldn't wait for the days to end. 

Okay, yes I know I had a baby, working full time and pumping, breast feeding with lots of night waking, and I was pregnant. But looking back, I wish I had stopped and realized what mattered!

I figured after baby #2 was born I would be going back to work. Even though I thought it would be really hard to manage, I never saw myself as being home full time. Well here I am, almost 5 months post Charlotte's beautiful entrance, and I am still home. And by the way, I am NOT going anywhere. 

I smile all the time when I joke I never wanted kids, remember how sad I was to be expecting. But that is just another beautiful part of life, we get to be totally and completely wrong and it is OKAY! Thank God! 

I couldn't tell you when I made sense, when I realized I was actually able to be good at this! I listened to a lot of advice, watched a lot of families, figured out what I would do and what wouldn't work for us. I made decisions about the way I would raise my kids and the home I would keep. I decided if I was going to be with my kids full time I would want to be as great as the babysitter I would look for. 

Oh, by the way Nicolas babysitter was exceptional. I compare myself sometimes...I still think she wins! 

I decided we would have a schedule for keeping house and having fun. I decided daddy time would trump everything else. All of responsibilities would be in order, just as daddy would expect if we were at a "job". And, yes me and my kids have to work together to make this work!

I remember someone said, "Grace doesn't believe being a mother was all there is in life;  she isn't satisfied just being a mother." 

Let me be clear, this is not all there is for me. This is the one thing I will always be.

What I realized was no matter what else I am doing on my journey in life, being a mother should be what I am doing my best!

 All the time!

and trust me, my kids don't expect anything less <3